also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
