i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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