if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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