I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Don't EVER smell your tampon
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You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize