the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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