i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
