I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
