I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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