Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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