I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
