that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you had me at cake vodka
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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