Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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