the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
