i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
