Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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