After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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