Ketchup is God's man juice
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
