HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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