My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
