i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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