im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
