Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
