I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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