it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You were trust falling into bushes
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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