Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
