So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize