I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We need a shit load of segways right now
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
