Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
