He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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