Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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