Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
