I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize