I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
