I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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