and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
