I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
