Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
