history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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