I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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