the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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