you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
