There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
