as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i out mim tonsoeep
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