we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
