Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
