hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
