Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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