I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
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She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
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Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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