so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
