Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
