Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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