my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
