$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
