Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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