Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
