Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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