Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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