If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
