Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
