My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
