Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
