Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
