Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
