have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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