Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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