I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
How external is "for external use only"?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dicks are not precious.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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