Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
