He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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