I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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