do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
