I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
